- So yeah, I just ordered one of those “your knife sucks” knives. The video sold me. It’s a conbini thing; I’m always looking for a lil’ piece and my switchblade just broke, so. Girls: why not take half the money you were going to spend on one of those downmarket Karl Lagerfeld/Tommy Hill t-shirts and get one of these instead, make the ghost of Bruce Lee proud?
- My cat is in heat and it is non-stop god damn yowling from these two male cats that are competing for her, all day, all night. She’s really pretty, so I understand.
- Speaking of warfare, I’m thinking of taking up archery. I was briefly in the boy scouts as a kid – not long enough to get molested – and shooting targets was super relaxing. I went to 2D Archery in Van Nuys and the dudes there were totally nice. I answered some questions and this guy was like “I really see you as more of a metaphysical archer.” Also: desktop picture of Legolas on their PC. Boiling hot.
- I went to McDonald’s last night (my sister was giving me a synopsis of Super Size Me and I got SO HUNGRY for a Big Mac) and there was this striking Mexican girl at the first window, the cashier window. Tough-pretty, not model-pretty. Great bone structure, bright eyes, and she looked really bored (obvs). It was hard for me not to say something to her, something like “why the fuck are you working at a McDonald’s?” or “can I take a picture of you so my internet people can validate my taste?” both of which are uncool questions, I guess.
I’ll kill you motherfucka
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I write screenplays, books and push software; I'm a collector and indoorsman. If you have a Masonic scepter or a copy of the Boyd Philadelphia Blue Book (any year), drop me a line.